It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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