I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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