Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
