I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize