I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize