Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize