if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I think your dad took our porno
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
