I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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