everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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