porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
