dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
