people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
