ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize