I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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