Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
