maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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