It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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