I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
