It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
