Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
