If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
