We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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