yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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