when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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