apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
