The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
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