She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize