Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
