You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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