I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
