do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
