Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize