Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
