I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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