yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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