I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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