I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
My legs feel like baby dolphins
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
its liver damage thursday
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
