you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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