you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Randomize
