p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
