Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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