Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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