Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize