Pappa wants mamma naked
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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