Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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