She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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