you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
