so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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