I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
