I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Randomize
