Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
