my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
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