dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
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