Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
