He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
