Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
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