We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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