I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize