Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
