In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Randomize
