What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
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