Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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